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“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
– Eckhart Tolle

As most of you know I am getting ready to move to the homestead, because of that a giant purge is required. At first I thought it would be just walk into a room and make the decision of keep, sell or throw away. Most of the items in the house are furniture items and should in my dreams be simple enough to let go of. Boy was I in for a surprise, letting go of that dishwasher that was finally gifted to me after 20 years of wanting one this Christmas, isn’t as easy as let’s just resell it. The stash of half-finished art projects was another trip down memory lane and what should we do with them? Teddy bears given at valentines, journals, even bedding started to become harder and harder as memories of how and when was gotten or given to me came flooding back in. Then we came to the pets, two ferrets, three dogs, a cat, several fish, and two birds. It all became very overwhelming and then the weather hit in the 5*F and froze us into one room of the house for a week. That is when I learned my lessons!

The key is to pare down your “things” to the GOOD stuff. Meaning, CHOOSE ONLY WHAT YOU LOVE. Of course the needed items such as a tent something to cook with, cooler, clothes and bedding must go with us. But when it comes to the extras choose only what you love. And no worries- usually this “choose only what you love” space is just ONE level below your simplicity comfort-zone. Frist I went around and put stickers on what I thought would need. Then went around again and took stickers off anything that required electrical plugs.  Researched what I might put into its place to replace that needed item.  Next I packed anything that I actually love.

Only when you choose the things you love, you are making the powerful decision to choose the things that genuinely bring you joy and lightness. You are choosing yourself and your well-being over material (or emotional) clutter. And when you choose YOURSELF, big things start happening.

Let me tell you the hard truth- when you buy something, that’s the moment that the money is gone. Holding on to items simply because they cost a certain amount of money, or even because you made some sort of emotional commitment to them (this is where the emotional clutter part comes into play) is a waste of resources and energy. The money is gone. There’s nothing you can do that will bring that back. And the mental/emotional space the object takes up just continues to grow and grow.

You are basically still spending and investing in that object or emotion  every single moment you allow it to share space in your life. You keep WASTING PRECIOUS RESOUCRES on it in an effort to make it have some sort of value, which, truth be told, it most likely will never have. The money is gone, and you’re still investing in it every day. How draining is that?

When you toss something, or even just approach the idea of getting rid of it, you clear that space. The negativity goes away. The obligation is dissolved. The relief that comes with that is enormous, and I promise you that it’s worth those moments of discomfort when you think “but I spent so much time and resources on this… what a waste… I’m such a _____ (indulgent spender, shopaholic, lazy jerk, wasteful creep <– insert self-critical accusation in blank space…)

Do you REALLY want something in your life that makes you feel that way about yourself? REPEATEDLY? Because I know that every time you look at that object, or think about it, or even consider a new object or emotional connection that you REALLY love, you are getting pelted with all that negative self-criticism from the original object.

Choosing to free yourself from all that messy chaotic energy, all that negativity and obligation and bad feeling- it’s a BIG deal. It’s huge.

And when you start doing releasing all those emotions that come attached with the “clutter” little spaces open up. Emotional and physical energy comes back. The little spaces that are created by tossing the clutter allows the things you love more room in your life. And those things FLOURISH. The more room you clear for them, the more they grow.

Trust me, I know it’s hard to yank a “living thing” (and that’s what some of our stuff IS- a living part of us, especially if it’s a relationship or an object that cost a lot or has emotional significance) out of your life and toss it. But think of this process in terms of LOVE. What would the LOVING thing be to do? Are you choosing to hold on to an object or relationship or obligation out of love or fear?

And, don’t forget, the stuff you “yank” can be donated to someone who REALLY needs it, someone who will truly love it because they need it or just would LOVE to have it. Or it might just end up in the recycling bin, which is okay, too.

So, I am urging you, from personal experience, to CHOOSE LOVE. CHOOSE and HONOR the fact you have finite resources. CHOOSE the things you love. Your life will immediately shift, I *promise* you. And the more you keep choosing the meaningful, the beloved, the real-happiness-containing stuff of life over the clutter, your well-being will flourish. And continue to do so.

I know that before preparing for this move I had spent months simplifying my life, but this move where everything has to be useful or truly loved as taught me so much more than all the simplifying in those months. I knew moving to the homestead would teach me great lessons I didn’t know that even just preparing to move the lessons would begin.

Again I challenge you to take one room in your house and toss anything not needed or loved out and experience the empower self you have hidden under all the things you think you must keep right now. CHOOSE LOVE!

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About bttrflysprit

Mother, daughter, wife, sister, MPD/DID, woman, someones child, are some of my titles. I am who I am and I am learning to be happy with that.

3 responses »

  1. Such wise words Donna. We do get ‘attached’ to things. You are right, we do spend money on them and time and love on them too. Great blog.

  2. Vicki says:

    I have started going through some boxes that have been in the closet and sorting through to get rid of excess . Things i don’t need or won’t use. or haven’t used or wore in the last 5 months. the pile of “to be gone is getting larger. Removing the past, and items that are attached to it definately is helping me to continue to move forward and grow.

  3. Heather Williams says:

    I experienced everything you described when I had to clean out my childhood home after Mum died. So many memories and so many things. It was almost overwhelming at first. Then, just as you did, I took only those things I loved and that were an important part of my past. I threw out, gave away, sold the rest. It is tough being confronted by your own life and to be forced to choose what you take with you and what to let go, but once it is done, it is so liberating in so many ways. For me there was a final freedom in letting go of all the old stuff. I’m so glad you felt that way too.

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