Who am I really? Yes, all the normal labels pop into my head, mom, doctor, nurse, cook, wife etc.…  but none of those labels is who I am all the time. I am a forever changing being I am not just one label all the time, I am me and I wear labels to express myself to the world around me. How do I really see me who wears all these labels? I sit still with myself, yes everything in my life races back at me. Still I set quiet and still and slowly all the labels peel away and all the experiences go back to their own little boxes and I am left with me. No labels to describe me to you but I see me.

Why am I here? I have asked this question time and time again. It is a question that is meant to have an easy answer and yet I find myself at a loss for words when I try to answer it. The concept is simple enough. However, as I started thinking about what the question actually means and what it was actually asking, it starts to take on a life of its own.  Of course, “here” could be anywhere and it’s different for everyone. However, beyond that notion of location, I have to take into account that “here” also means being in the present; being in the ‘now’ which makes “here” not just a place on a map but also a place in time. Knowing why I am “here” gives me the most concrete and basic thing I can know about myself, which is, that there’s a reason for me being where ever I am at. Then I come to the simple answer I am here because I choose to be here.

What is the purpose of my life? To live courageously pushing the limits with love and compassion, awakening others to their spirit, and finally, to be in balance with all things while remaining totally and uniquely me.

What am I really capable of? More than any of the above questions this one scares me. I am capable of great evil. I am capable of great love. I am capable anything at all.  I am capable of more than you know, for that matter more than I know.  I am capable anything at all.  That is why this question is so scary I know I am capable of darkness I know that it exist within me and that as a matter of pure choice I choose not to release it. I also know I am capable of great light and that also exist within me and choose to show and express it alone to the world. Now do I always succeed in doing that no. There are times when I do allow the darkness within me to spill out into the world. Knowing I am capable of both sides and that I have chosen to only express one is scary.


Those are four hard questions for one to answer and be truthful about.  They are a part of my journey now as I approach a new program called Hero Training. Maybe this week you might take the time to answer these questions for yourself. Just remember always be gentle and kind to you.


About bttrflysprit

Mother, daughter, wife, sister, MPD/DID, woman, someones child, are some of my titles. I am who I am and I am learning to be happy with that.

3 responses »

  1. Vicki says:

    As you said four hard questions, something that hits me is the answers can also change it seems to me depending on the time you answer them, they can shift like sand when the wind blows . rearranging the contours. I will have to really sit back and look at this questions and the answers for my self at different times to see the subtil differences of my answers and if there is any.

  2. As Vicki says, nothing is constant. As energy ebbs, flows and changes, so do we, because we are mostly energy. The patterns of our lives shift from day to day. I love this awareness that you’ve brought to the surface. I am so blown away by your awareness of your own lightness and darkness and the keeping of the balance of both. This is a very advanced concept that most people don’t really “get” until they’ve reached a certain level of self awareness. You have reached that level. Your energy vibrates in a higher plane now. You are beginning to feel the power of “being” – that almost God-like quality within us all that is almost an otherworldly entity. And to think… they tried to “fix” you. Can you laugh at their ignorance yet?

  3. Some very difficult questions that don’t necessarily have easy answers. You are very much more self aware than some, including me, and I applaud your honesty and conviction to getting back to you. Nobody needs fixing, in my opinion. We are who we are and I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming. We are all changing as we go through life so your answers will change as you go through life too.

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