I am scared to write love messages all over myself and take pictures of it to share on the internet. (A message goes off in my brain “feel the fear and do it anyways”) I began the writing today and got to my knees where I have had several surgeries. To me they have always been ugly because of the scars: the ones you can see and the emotional ones from the person that crushed them so I couldn’t run away. It was at that moment I had an awe ha moment, I love my SCARS all of them. Each one is a special badge 🙂 every single one of them is special because it marks me as me and I wouldn’t be anyone else for the world. I cried LOL because of my love for my scars and had to stop writing and drawing for a while to just let that love sink in deep.
I thought maybe this lesson would be easier to do in pictures and yet I keep finding myself coming back to words. I know tomorrow when I stand in front of the mirror I might have tears in my eyes as I say the words out loud but the tears will be cleansing and healing tears. I guess the biggest thing for me right now is the realization that I do LOVE myself, not just little bits and pieces but ALL of ME!!
I love each alter and it’s wonderful protection it has granted me. I love my kind heart, even when others might see it as a weakness. I love my eyes that are ever watchful and attempt to see the world thru each new person’s eyes as well as my own. I love the laughter that escapes my heart. I love being a mother and a wife. I love being creative and unique. I love the life lessons I allow myself to learn. I love my beauty. I love that I am childlike and face the world with wonder. I loved my smile and the one in my eyes as well. I love my faith. I love that I still dream. I love that I allow myself friendship. I love that I am more than a survivor, but a Freedom Fighter. I love, that I love to have fun. I love my badges of honor, my scars. I love that I am a beautiful, Intelligent, talented, creative, and honorable B.I.T.C.H. I love that I am emotional and am able to express a full range of emotion. I love that I love to share and give. I love that I still care. I LOVE ALL OF ME!